Fordham’s “Best Deli”
A visual representation of over 100 Fordham students' votes.
I totally get that no one is in the mood right now to see him or herself represented on yet another chart of dueling primary colors. But humor me and just look at those results. It’s a numerical reality that I believe will lay the foreground of unifying the nation at a very... very local level. Fordham has spoken, and RDP is the deli to which 68% of us pledge allegiance.
Who do you pledge allegiance to?
Vocal supporter Charlie Kretschmer ('17) offers positive sentiments to supplement their vote:
"The RDP experience is filled with vitality- from the sustenance provided by the Sunday morning hangover special, to the navy wrap, to the drunken banter that occasionally result in a broken nose for a feeble counterpart"
– Charles Kretschmer
The RDP Experience.
RDP is not just a deli, the same way the carwash on Fordham Rd. is not just a carwash (don’t act like you don’t know). The experience starts in the name alone: Rams Deli Plus. It makes you think… plus what?
Firstly, the face that greets you is none other than that of Ali. The man provides an additional service, free of charge, by facilitating a 24 hour judgement-free environment. He won’t even break up a fight, should you feel the drunken urge to throw someone against the display of potato chips. He’s watching security footage of that shit on repeat like it’s WWE. Their ATM once dispensed monopoly money and he got a kick out of it. He is everything a 21-year-old looks for in his bodega cashier.
Regrettably, most of us only know Carlos as the floating head who lives behind the barrier of glass that divides us. But we all know that back there, behind the dormant salad bar, behind the unapologetically frostbitten curly fries, is a man that genuinely invests his heart and soul in the making of every "Hashtag". Beyond excelling at what really counts - crafting a sandwich that contains all life-stages of a chicken - Carlos is eerily omniscient. Either Rams has been accumulating in-house data on Fordham students' food preference for mining purposes, or the man has a sixth sense.
RDP doesn’t have to end your night the way Best does. With every step, the pilgrimage towards Bathgate makes you progressively more irrelevant. Every Fordham-goer knows that the potential for fun is loosely confined to a 4-block radius, and your decision to pass the threshold of Lorillard will surely set the tone for the rest of your night.
Piggybacking onto the RDP line at 1 AM does not mean forfeiting. The glass exterior, tastefully accented by cardboard stock images of paninis, allows anyone the advantage to assess the scene on the street. Since RDP's prime location positions it as the greasier extension of tri-bar, you'll most likely be observing a crowd of people just taking a time out for a loosie.
"The Best" Deli.
When you enter a sterile Best Deli at 1AM, you can’t help but feel like you are definitively surrendering. There’s usually someone else in there dressed in pajamas to make you feel marginally better about yourself, but don’t be fooled- you are still a measly pawn who’s consented to paying whatever price point the cashier is feeling that night. If you’re cashless (which you probably are), you now have to comply by their merciless credit card fee that tacks on an arbitrary $1 just because. Something about the transactional experience always feels icky.
Simply put, the name “Best Deli” lacks self-awareness. The sign even mocks itself. The LED lights on the word "BEST" are having an epileptic seizure, and the words "Deli and Grocery" overpower the words "The Best" like the world's worst humble brag. Plus, no 24-hour deli brazen enough to serve a crab sandwich has the right to flaunt that superlative.
But really. Where does it come from?
Best-loyalist Margaret Cosgrove (‘19) offers insight to the other side:
"I think Best is the healthier option, because they have Kombucha and dried-cranberries."
– Margaret Cosgrove
That is a very compelling point you raise, Margaret, and I'll give it to you. It is pretty undeniable that Best has an unparalleled snack, candy, and grocery selection, ranging from cereal to Kombucha, condiments to meow mix. It is spacious, should anyone feel the impulsive urge to cartwheel during their 45-minute wait, and it offers you the lofty privilege of getting to choose between every drink known to man. It is the go-to place for anyone in the market for a really good burger, a smoothie, or last-minute detergent.
Conclusions.
Since there remains an anonymous 20% of students that pledge allegiance to Best (most likely comprised of Alumni and Finlay residents), it can not be officially stated at this time that RDP is a consensus pick.
There is one thing, however, that respective loyalists alike cannot deny: RDP and Best both claim to have free-delivery, and they are both equally full of shit.